Thursday, May 28, 2015

E.M. Bryant vs. The "Glamorous" Life of a Writer

Something tells me that Christina Dodd and Eloisa James don't have these kinds of problems.....

On Sunday night, my smoke detector started chirping. I barely heard it, but Thor-cat took notice. By the time the sun was out, the chirping was more like a reminder of how behind I was/am -- and how pissed off my cat could get when properly annoyed.

So, I bought a battery at the discount store, stuck it in, reset the tester button, and carried on with my day.

At hour 4 of writing, the chirping began again.

Four days later, the smoke detector is still chirping -- only it's not really chirping anymore. No, chirping implies birds, which people often mistake for morning and sunshine and spring and general merriment.

This is not the case.

The "chirping" is more like a demonic lull into the abyss. "Get out of bed and hit me with a sledgehammer," it says at around 3am. I don't do this, of course. I rent.

And a sledgehammer would be too kind.

Sleep deprivation is expected when the devil is trying your patience every night. What is NOT expected is the one thousand tiny and minuscule things that become huge daily obstacles.

Tuesday morning, while hurrying to get a shower in before starting my day job, I dropped my fresh-from-the-dryer towel in the toilet. After retrieving said towel from toilet, I dropped it on the floor, sloshing toilet water in every direction. I grabbed the damn towel, flung it into the washer (which is conveniently nestled right outside the door), then returned to the bathroom only to lose my footing and almost tumble into the bathtub.

Show me a graceful writer. Show me. Then show me a living T-Rex. 

Wednesday (a.k.a. Day of Smoke Detector Reckoning), I get home...and am relieved to hear silence. S-I-L-E-N-C-E. Maintenance has quieted the devil. I can write all evening, undisturbed. Then I can go to bed and SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.

All was going swell until around 1am.


I'm hallucinating. The smoke detector is fixed, right? It's all in my head, right?


Too much toilet water was absorbed through my skin. This is ridiculous. I'm just hearing things!


I've developed an infection from the toilet water. That's all this is. A quick trip to urgent care and everything will be fine...


Okay, I'm awake.  

Thursday morning, my landlord assures me the smoke detector will be exorcised. All will be well.

I try to be optimistic, but deep down I'm not. It's nothing personal. In fact, I'm a huge fan of my apartment complex. ...But the damn thing is possessed. Or the device is defective. And that's pretty much the same thing.

Last night, after dropping my house keys into a giant spider web, I reminded myself that despite the sleepless nights and toilet water breach, I have a warm home, a cozy bed, and good writing nook.

.....I just hope the burst of optimism lasts through tonight in case the devil returns. And he is a bastard.


New summer stuff is coming!!! STAY TUNED

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

PURGATORY is here! Thank you all for your support!

It's been an emotional wreck all week. And here it is...the end of the DIARY TRILOGY...the end of a chapter of my life that has been nearly all-consuming for more than 3 years.

But enough about my tears!

Right now, you can download Rapture, Genesis, AND Purgatory for 99 cents each (FREE IF YOU HAVE KINDLE UNLIMITED)!!!

Go forth and buy--and let me know if you loved this series as much as I do (...or was repulsed).

Don't forget a security blanket (for scary scenes) and some cocoa...



Despite writing romantic horror, light erotica, paranormal suspense, and mystery, this song has always held my heart. I'll let Boyz II Men take it from here...

Monday, May 18, 2015


Purgatory goes LIVE in 2 days (5/20)!!!!

I cannot wait for its release! As a special bonus, check out this excerpt!


November 20, 2013—Merrick Hills Police Department
For two days, Ingram kept me away. I could only imagine what went on, but when I returned, Viv was with me. She wanted to meet this so-called Jaco.

It was not a huge surprise that when I entered the holding unit, there were bruises all over the man’s face and arms. “He didn’t cooperate very well,” Ingram said before exiting.

Vivian stood against the door as I approached the cell. She looked scared, and I wondered if that was because of Polly’s attack. Surely facing her not-so-dead brother wasn’t exactly a fun thought—but I wasn’t convinced at all that this was Jaco.

“I see Chief Ingram took care of you.”

“Ha. Yes, I’ve been in many hands.”

“Then why won’t you let me help you? I don’t believe that you are Jess Jaco, but your silence—”

I stopped when I saw him looking in Vivian’s direction. His eyes were completely fixated on her. When I looked at her, she seemed frightened. I walked to her, periodically glancing behind me. “Are you alright?” I whispered.

“Maybe this was a mistake…maybe I should wait outside.”

“Alright, if that’s what you want.” She nodded her head at me. I opened the door for her to leave. When I turned around, the yeti was staring daggers into me.

“Is that your woman?” He asked.

“It’s the 21st century. Men don’t own women.”

“How poignant.” He stated grimly. “Is she your wife? Is that question more modern for you?”

“She’s not my wife. She’s my partner.”

“I see.” He got up and limped toward me. “I have a wife. She is beautiful.”

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you give me her name and phone number and I’ll call her. I’ll tell her where you are.”

“I don’t have a number for her.” He paused, then gripped the cell bars. “You’re an investigator that finds people, right?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“What if I make a deal with you, Mr. Bowers?”

“What kind of deal?”

“You bring me my wife, and I’ll give you my name.”

I was intrigued. 

“I’d need her name in order to find her.”

“That wouldn’t help you.”

“Giving me her name wouldn’t help me find her?”

“She’s clever. And beautiful.”

“You mentioned she’s beautiful. Do you have a picture of her?”

“No, but I could sketch a picture.” I froze. “I have sketched a hundred pictures of her. None compare to how beautiful she is in person.”

“And what does she look like?”

“She looks like an angel.”

A thought I didn’t want to entertain was revealed right in front of me. This wasn’t Jess Jaco at all.
“You sketched her, you said?”

“Oh, yes. Now, why don’t you find her and bring her to me, and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

“I don’t need to do that. I know your name.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Really?”

“Yes. You’re Derrick Locke.”